Written November 2016
In Perth I work in an early learning centre as an educator to children between the ages 0-5 years old. At the start of this year I was trying to save because I had booked a two month contiki tour around Europe. Admittedly I wasn’t saving much. I’d make up some unreasonable excuse to myself to buy a new outfit, shoes and makeup. At one stage I was severely addicted to the app wish. I would buy the most random gadgets and items that I would only ever use once. For example an in shower speaker, star projector, zucchini shredder, a toilet seat sticker (put it down) and I even bought a phone case that would flash when I got a notification just because I loose my phone in my blanket alot. Come to think of it… Where has that gone? But this isn’t about my terrible spending habits. Anyway, I was thinking about my life. What was going to be my next step? Do I go to Europe, come back to a job I’m not sure is my “dream” job in order to keep travelling? OR should I go to UNI, make a career woman out of myself and set myself up for a better future. But that would mean I miss out on travelling for now. Plus what would I even study? First world problems, I know. At 20 years old I came to understand I wasn’t the only one stuck in a crossroad between the whole “live because you’re alive now” or “hardly live now so you can have a better life later”. Life decisions ahhh. Life’s little pressures came banging on the door and stuck around like a stray cat. Just popping up uninvited, hanging around and just when I think it’s gone… BAM it’s back. It’s not until you let it in that you realize it came to be fed and acknowledged. When I was a kid and I thought about being twenty I pretty much thought I’d be married, maybe have children, have a house and live like a fairy tale. Being an adult seemed easy and so much fun. But now that I’m twenty I’m like holy shit balls NO!!!! THERE IS A HUGE EXCITING LIFE OUT THERE… I just don’t know how to get there. I want a career AND to travel right now. Please and thank you. I definitely do not want to get married or have children or buy a house right now. All I want is to make my god damn mind up about what the hell I want to do with this life of mine.
If I had it my way I’d want to live on a big piece of land big enough that neighbours couldn’t hear me singing horribly to country songs that I only know half the words to, with big green fields that I could race motorbikes around, a tyre swing where I could jump into my own clean (crocodile free) lake, live in a house that has enough rooms for me to have my own art studio that would be decorated with tie-dye scarves as curtains, own a Kmart store (love Kmart), make homemade bread (try), have miniature animals running around, have a Chrysler, travel to one place in each continent, have a collection of something cool (haven’t decided what), my family with me forever and endless supply of watermelon, cabbage and white chocolate reese’s peanut butter cups. Is that too much to ask? Hahaha. My dad said if he had it his way he would live on a big block of land, have a ride on lawn mower with an esky of beer on the back, a shady tree with a hammock for naps and one of those cool speakers to play his tunes (portable bluetooth speaker). If you had it your way what would you do? Comment below.
I feel like at twenty your life is really starting to become your own and when life becomes your own it means that decisions are now yours to make. It’s so much harder because you can no longer blame mum or dad or go back to the days where you were told what it is you have to do. It’s on you. Why couldn’t we have been born with a book about what we are meant to be doing for the rest of our lives? Why is there so much uncertainty? A 5 year plan is great when you’re 15 and everything is possible in your mind. I was the kid that was fixated on the idea I would be an actress. I literally thought I would fly to Summer Bay, be noticed and BAM I’m on home and away. The whole idea that things were that easy is based on stories where these amazing things did JUST happen for people. For example when Channing Tatum was discovered on the streets of Miami and was signed with a modelling agency. Like WOW! But with adulthood comes the realization that things are a lot more complicated and amazing things don’t always JUST happen.
But then out of know where THIS happened… My father and I were sitting outside by the fire having a few bevvies. Ya know typical Aussies. My mother and brother were away. He says he has to talk to me. His work has offered him a position in the Philippines. I automatically asked “how long for?” He responded “Indefinitely. I would live there”. I just answered “Shit. That’s great”. At the age of 55 to still be moving up and moving on in your career is amazing. Then he turned to me and said “Do you wanna come with me?” I started thinking about what I would do in the Philippines. I have always loved working with children. Maybe I would volunteer at the orphanages. Offer them the skills and knowledge that I have learnt being an educator. If you haven’t already picked up on this, I am very much a planner. Not in the whole “I’m having spaghetti on Tuesday and wearing blue underwear on Friday” sort of planner but I like plans, security and goals. But like I said previously, adulthood is a little more complicated and plans don’t always work out. It’s just another one of those decisions that I now have to make for myself. I have two choices. I could sit at home watching Netflix, playing it safe and missing out because I can’t predict exactly what will happen next… OR accept that regardless of the outcome it’ll be an experience. You never know it might turn out to be one of the best things I’ve ever done. So, I cancelled my contiki tour. Europe will always be there but this opportunity might not. I applied for a year leave without pay from my position. 3 days before I left it was approved. For the first time I told my inner control freak to shut up and go with the flow. Forget all about the commitments of life for now. I would dedicate my time to the orphanages and eventually I’m sure I’ll know what I want to do. I have chosen the “Live because you’re alive now” option. It’s not the block of land with the lake, motorbikes and watermelon but it sure is just as great. An Amazing thing happened. I’m moving to the Philippines.
DISCLAIMER: First most please take note that everything written is based on my own opinion/observations/views; My posts are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual; For the privacy of others i have changed names;Remember you may have different experiences and views on topics i write about. That’s cool. You do you, ill do me.
Evie's World 